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I wasn’t especially motivated to spend a bunch of money on a room as un-sexy as a closet-like bathroom that no one will ever see but us. I briefly entertained the idea of leaving the tile and just swapping out the grout for something lighter-colored, but virtually everybody at Home Depot plus my parents plus my husband plus three separate friends (one of whom is a certified home renovation expert), told me that the process is long and miserable and easy to screw up, and is basically the perfect example of A Thing That One Should Pay A Professional To Do.

Except I have no money for stuff like this right now.

The fumes were so strong that my eyes teared up a bit and I seriously considered putting on my snorkeling mask.

I thought the Waterlox we used to seal our butcher block countertops and farmhouse table was bad, but it has nothing on this tile paint.

(You only need to wait about an hour or two between coats).

I’d screw up tiles that were already screwed up, and just have to do what I had originally planned to do (hire a professional)?

Does your cherub-pink 1950s bathtub give you nightmares? If your bathroom tub and tile are in sound condition but simply need an aesthetic makeover, you might be considering repainting or refinishing them yourself.

And so I’d basically put this item on the back-burner, but when my friend Elise came over to help me paint my bathroom, I mentioned my ugly shower tiles and she said, “Oh, you can just paint over those! But not just paint: an epoxy paint specifically created to create a flawless, durable finish on tile. I’ve done a bunch of research on how to rehab ugly bathroom tile, and “paint them” has never popped up in my search results. (Or at least as close to a “freaking vision” a bathroom can come when it is approximately four square feet and is possessed of the elegant, cozy appeal of a linen closet, if linen closets contained toilets.) No but seriously: LOOK.

” Apparently she’d had the same dark and 70s-ish grout situation in her own foyer, and to spruce it up she had used… But when Elise showed me her (kind of spectacular) before and after shots, I figured…I mean, what was the worst thing that was going to happen?

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